Searching for a few hearts

You ever feel like God has a search warrant for your heart? everytime you think or say something the Sweet Holy Spirit whispers to you, should you be saying that? Isn't doing this against My Word? Do you want to be far from Me? We as christians call for revival we want the Holy SPirit to show up at our services and our lives but we don't want to pay for it. we want to be "magically" whisked away by the effort and sacrifice of others. I get disgusted with myself sometimes; thinking i have arrived at some spiritual plain with God b/c of something He alone gave me the grace to accomplish in the first place. Apart from God I can do nothing, if i am alive i can do nothing i must die. Oh God show me how the living die, and how the dead live in your presence. Teach me true humility and patience that is perfected through love.